5th Sunday of Lent – St Mary of Egypt

Today we have already come to the fifth Sunday of Great Lent. Next Sunday we will be celebrating the Lord’s Entry into Jerusalem. On this fifth Sunday of Great Lent, we commemorate a woman who has become an example and hero of repentance for Orthodox Christians, St Mary of Egypt.

We read her life this week at the Matins service on Wednesday evening. For those that were not able to hear it, I’ll briefly summarize her life… St Mary lived in the latter half of the 4th century and was known throughout Alexandria as a notorious prostitute. One year, she joined a large group of people on board a ship heading to Jerusalem. Most of the passengers were pilgrims making their way to the Holy Land in preparation for the feast of the Exaltation of the Cross. Mary’s purposes for boarding the ship and being in the proximity of so many people were far less honorable. Having arrived, she persisted in her sinful ways and even joined the throngs of people heading toward the Church of the Holy Sepulcher on the day of the feast. However, when she attempted to enter the threshold of the church, she was prevented from entering by some invisible force. She tried several times to cross the threshold of the church but was repelled by this force each time. This striking manifestation of her unworthiness due to her sins struck deep into the heart of St Mary and she retired into a corner of the courtyard where she wept bitter tears. She realized her shame and sin and pleaded with the Most Holy Mother of God that if she would be permitted to enter into the church to venerate the precious wood of the Holy Cross, she would spend the rest of her life in repentance and service to God. She approached the threshold again and, this time, was able to enter without any hindrance at all. She venerated the Holy Cross and, afterwards, retired into the desert to work out her salvation.

St Mary lived alone and in obscurity for nearly fifty years as a hermit in the wilds of the desert. Only the Lord knows of her prayers and tears and struggles throughout this time. At the end of her life, a priestmonk by the name of Zosimas happened upon St Mary and learned of her life. St Zosimas was blessed to bring her the sacraments of our Lord’s Body and Blood. When St Zosimas returned to meet her a year later, he discovered the body of St Mary, who had reposed shortly after receiving Holy Communion a year before.

The life of St Mary of Egypt fills us with awe at the depths of her repentance and also at the depths of the love and mercy of God. St Mary, who lived her early life in utter depravity, repented thoroughly and was granted such grace that she walked upon the waters of the Jordan River and had the gift of insight – perceiving the revelations of God.

We should take heart that no matter what sins we may have committed, no matter what troubles we may get ourselves into… though we turn our back on God, He never turns His back on us! All that is required is repentance… a turning around from darkness toward Light. As the Psalms confirm: ‘A contrite and humbled heart, God will not despise.’

This morning I would like to focus on one lesson from the life of St Mary of Egypt. This lesson involves her experience there in the courtyard of the Church of the Holy Sepulcher – when she was not able to cross that threshold into the Church. When her prayers to God went unanswered and she was left to weep in the corner of the courtyard.

Listen to the words of Metropolitan Anthony of Sorouzh who said the following about this scene: ‘How often is it that we have knocked at the door of God in the way in which Mary tried to come into His presence? How often have we tried to pray, to be in His presence in silence? How often has our longing been to God, and how often have we felt that between our prayer and Him, between our silence and Him, between our longing and Him there was a barrier which we could not pass. We were crying, praying into an empty sky, we were turning towards icons that were silent; all we could perceive was the Divine absence, and an absence so frightening, because not only could we not reach Him, but we perceived that unless we reached Him, our soul was laid waste, there was within us nothing but emptiness, an emptiness that if it continued, if it became our definitive condition would mean more than death – it would mean ultimate separation.’

I think many of us can relate to this scene. Many of us have had the experience of unanswered prayer, of crying out to God and being met with nothing but silence. This can be a terrible source of temptation toward shaking our faith, of doubting God or of doubting the goodness of God. But please listen again to the words of Metropolitan Anthony, who provides the proper perspective on this issue: ‘But how often also has God knocked at the door of our heart. You remember the word of the Book of Revelation: I stand at Thy door and I knock... How often has God, in the words of the Gospel, in the events of our life, in the weak promptings of our soul, in a whispering of the Holy Spirit, in all the ways in which God tries to reach us - how often has He knocked at this door, and how often have we made sure that this door does not open. Either we simply didn't care to open it because we were busy with things that mattered to us at that moment more than His interrupting, disturbing presence; and how often did we refuse to open the door because the coming of the Lord to us would have meant the end of things which were precious to us, which mattered to us... And the Lord stood knocking, and the door was shut in His face: exactly in the same way in which every door was shut in the face of the Mother of God and Joseph on the night of the Nativity.’

Metropolitan Anthony is right… if we feel that God is somehow absent, we must realize and admit that in this relationship between God and us, it is WE who are more frequently absent than He is.

The breakthrough moment for St Mary of Egypt was when she recognized her sins, when she recognized her unworthiness to enter the Church. It was that contrite and humble heart that God loved and comforted.

Dear brothers and sisters in Christ, the purpose of this blessed season of Great Lent is given to us precisely to heal that relationship between ourselves and God. This Lenten season is given to us to break open that closed door of our heart. Let us recognize the outstretched arms of God and how He seeks to bless our lives with His presence and grace. Let us also recognize our own poverty of spirit and how negligent we have been in our relationship with God.

Now is the time for us to strengthen that connection with God. Through the prayers of our holy mother Mary of Egypt, may we follow her example of true repentance – of heeding that knock upon the door of our heart and inviting in our Lord Jesus Christ.